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MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR MALES AND FEMALES
Copyright © 2009 Epason. All rights Reserved
Let there be a man and a woman of God before marriage. It would help many marriages avoid headaches, heartaches, heartbreaks, separations and divorces if those involved are spiritual men and women.
The word tells us something about the man when God created him.
"Then God said,' Let us make MAN IN OUR IMAGE, IN OUR LIKENESS, and let them RULE...' " (Genesis 1v26).
" So God created MAN in his own IMAGE, in the IMAGE of God he created him; MALE AND FEMALE he created them" (Genesis 1v27).
"When God created MAN, he made him in the LIKENESS of God. He created them MALE and FEMALE..."(Gen 5v1-2).
The word MAN is used in a general sense as a person having the life and seed of God in him. But there is a difference between being a MALE and a MAN. And being a FEMALE and a WOMAN. Male and female are the creations of God as to genders. But Man and Woman are MADE of God; or are creations of God brought up to the purpose for which God created the male and female. And you know what? that unique purpose, intention or divine desire is: the IMAGE and LIKENESS of God.
Talking about the created man the Bible says MALE and FEMALE he created them (Gen 1v27b Gen 5v2). But MAN or WOMAN was made by God in His Likeness and Image (Gen 1v27a; 5v1). God's intention for what would be called MAN was to make him in His Godlikeness and God image (Gen 1v26). This wasn't the picture for the male and female but for the man and woman. The man existed because of the image of God and the likeness of God in him. He is seen through those qualities. Do you see the difference with me here?
THE DIFFERENCE: A SPIRITUAL ONE
There's a difference between being a male or female and a man or a woman. And the difference is a spiritual one. You could be a female but never a woman or a male but never a man. You are not a man because you've beard on your chin and some moustache. Neither are you a man because you have some loose change in your bank account. No those are for males. You're a man because you've been made of God. Similarly a woman is not one because she has reached the puberty stage, able to bear children, aiming at weight loss, and knows her gender rights. Those also are for females. A woman is made of God.
God never created the male in His likeness but the Man. He never created the male to rule but the Man. And the MAN to rule was to be in the LIKENESS AND IMAGE OF GOD. It takes the likeness and image of God To rule. These God likeness and image were innate the male potentially, but fully developed in the MAN. The male has to become a man, a man of God. A man in God's image. A man in God's likeness. It takes manhood to fully realize the Godlike potentials in the female and the male respectively.
It is not fitting for a male to leave his mother and father and be united to his wife. No. It is for the man (Gen 2v24), the man of God; the man who has understood God's ways of doing things; the man who fears God; the man who aspires to promote the ways of God by his personal lifestyle; a man who must have developed spiritually. It is for that man to leave his father and mother's house and be united to his wife. Such a man can indeed become one flesh with the wife.
He leaves his parents who were responsible, have given him guidance and good care because he is now qualified and can give good guidance and care to others. Because he is able to take healthy decisions for the good of himself and others under his leadership and for the good of those around him. Because he is now a responsible citizen generally in the eyes of God.
Being a man, aspiring manhood is to be the man created in the image of God. It is to be the person God wants you to be. And you must have outgrown maleness and femaleness to attain this level of expectation.
When David was about to die, he appointed his successor Solomon over his throne. But before he actually took over, there was something David said to Solomon that could catch our attention as to what we mean by being a MAN or a WOMAN.
David's son Solomon, was a male already, but something more was required of him. He was demanded to show himself a MAN not A MALE. Let's read what David said, " SO BE STRONG, SHOW YOURSELF A MAN AND OBSERVE WHAT THE LORD YOUR GOD REQUIRES: WALK IN HIS WAYS AND KEEP HIS DECREES AND COMMANDS, HIS LAWS AND REQUIREMENTS; AS WRITTEN IN THE LAW OF MOSES, SO THAT YOU MAY PROSPER IN ALL YOU DO AND WHEREVER YOU GO...(1 Kings 2v2-3).
You see, David was talking to a male called Solomon. Now if a male and a MAN were the same why did he have to show himself a MAN? For he was one already. But the male and a man are not the same. The male is created but the man is made. The male is created but must not remain a male, he has to grow up and become a man. A man of God. But how too is good to note!
Solomon, as a male, was asked to show himself a qualified man of God not through wordly credentials but in the spiritual dimension. He was not to show how rich he was, how wise he was, nor how powerful he had become. Rather, he was to show himself a man by keeping the ways of God, obeying Him and walking faithfully with God . His constant fear of God was being a man of God. A spiritually matured man.
We are to be mature men and women with an increased intimacy with God if we aspire healthy marital relationship. A man should know the heart of God, the ways of God if he is to leave the level of maleness behind. For you could be a male and never a man and it's a pity.
In the Bible, there was a time that God was seeking for a MAN, just one MAN out of millions of males but He couldn't find one. " I LOOK FOR A MAN ( NOT A MALE) AMONG THEM WHO COULD BUILD UP THE WALL AND STAND BEFORE ME IN THE GAP ON BEHALF OF THE LAND SO THAT I WOULD NOT HAVE TO DESTROY IT, BUT I FOUND NONE" ( Ezekiel 22v30).
Isn't it a pity that among the many millions of males that were present with long beard, not one was a man. A man was searched by God out of many males but He couldn't find one. Not one male was spiritually matured to be a MAN. God wanted to spare the city but needed a spiritual man who aspired the ways of God but He couldn't see one.
You can see clearly again that to be a male is different from being a MAN. Male is the creation of God but MAN is made of God. To be made means to put things together in the right proportion. Some characters might fall off and others imbibed. To be a Man is a walk. A Man must have outgrown maleness. A Man must have developed the Godlikeness in him to think, to talk and walk with God. A Man has an intimate relationship with God. A Man aspires to fear God in the planet Earth. Are you a man or male? A female or a Woman?
MAN AND WOMAN RECREATED IN CHRIST
Those involved in marriage should be men and women of God in Christ. They must have demonstrated the innate Godlikeness and image, recreated in Christ Jesus as they walk with God on the face of the earth. For Christ is the IMAGE of the invisible God ( Col 1v15), who had all the fullness of God in Him (Col 1v19). The sin- marred Godlikeness and God image in Adam is recreated in Christ who is the very IMAGE of God. It is in Christ that male and female become new creations of God (2 Cor 5v17). It is in Christ the male becomes a man; the female a woman. Living for Christ and letting Christ to shine through them is not an issue for the marred male and female any more but for the new creations of God in Christ which should be a man and woman of God. They must have been obedient children of God here in this world if that marriage is to be a blessing to them and those around them.
They are the light of Christ on the earth (Ephesians 5v8), led by the Spirit of God ( Galatians 5v10), who live and move and have their beings in Christ (Acts 17v28) and daily add to their faith certain qualities that make them effective and productive in the Lord's service (2 Peter 1v5-8). They aspire to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord (1 Peter 3v18), doing whatever (problems and solutions inclusive) and speaking every word in the name of the Lord ( Col 3v17), able to respond to others about their faith(directly or indirectly by actions and behavior) with graceful words (Col 4v6), free from anger, rage and bitterness ( Ephesians 4v31 ).
Man and Woman are imitators of God ( Ephesians 5v1) and coworkers with Him ( Ephesians 2v10) who live a life of love (Ephesians 5v2; John 15v12) compassion and forgiveness (Ephesians 4v32); and do not gossip or slander each other in the name of reasons for being or having done something ( Ephesians 4v31), but are bearing with the failings of the weaker partner whether the husband or wife ( Romans 15v1;1 Peter 3v7). They make all efforts toward what leads to mutual edification (Romans 14v19) as they build each other up in difficult times with encouraging words, meeting various needs within their marital parameters to the glory of God (Ephesians 4v29).
MAN AND WOMAN KNOWN IN GOD'S HOUSE
If the Christian is not a good Christian, he will probably not make a good father or husband. If he cannot obey God, he cannot admonish one to do so. It all begins in the house of God. A Christian who is not submissive to her pastor cannot be submissive to her husband at home and could not make a good mother too. If the Christian can't love the neighbor as self he or she cannot love the marital partner adequately. The house of God, the church or a well organized God fearing flow of leadership, a worshipful Christian organization with sincere Christian fellowship within are the areas where you can train yourself to becoming a man and a woman.
Spirituality (I use that word with great care) is the very test of MANLINESS, with the house of God as its litmus arena where the would be husband and wife should carefully consider their motives to know what they are out for and up to in marriage. The fear of God stands out so clearly. He who can't fear God is not spiritually balanced and cannot love you better. It takes a man and a woman of God to be husband and wife. It is not a male and female thing.
MAN AND A WOMAN ARE FAVOR OF GOD
"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18v22).
"...a prudent wife is from the Lord" (Proverbs 19v14b).
You probably have read that many times over, but let's look at something here. The word says he who finds a wife receives favor from God and a prudent wife is from the Lord (Proverbs 18v22, 19v14). For a wife to come from God, she must have been by God, she must have known the ways of God. She must have loved God. And for a man to have such favor from God, he must have been by God, loving God's ways, and praying to God. He must have been spiritual enough as to search for a wife from the Lord's camp.
Please, there's no lottery here. Both the husband and wife are of God. God cannot give a praying and godly woman to a bad father and husband who never prays or aspires the things of God. He cannot give a spiritually healthy wife to a non spiritual husband. Conversely God cannot give a bad wife to a good and prayerful husband. If the wife is spiritual, she would beget her kind spiritually; she would be spiritual as to have or be given a spiritual husband. Part of her spirituality is to be alert in the spirit to know that this or that man is of God or not. The fact that she is given a spiritual husband attests to the veracity that she is right with God, that she is spiritually balanced. But the bottom line is: Both the wife and the husband have risen up to the challenge of what it takes to be a man and a woman. They are already man and woman of God.
And Please to be a man of God is not to be a pastor or preacher. No No No, it isn't. A man of God is a man who fears God and walks in His ways. That is what Solomon was asked to do. To keep the laws of God and walk in His ways ( 1 Kings 2v2-3). In other words, he should be spiritually matured. And it is just the same thing that the Lord intends for all His called out ones the church. We the Christians are aiming at perfection( 2 Corinthians 13v11 ) to become mature ( Ephesians 4v13 ), pure and blameless (Philippians 2v15), always finding out what pleases God (Ephesians 5v10); knowing the will of God (Ephesians 5v17), testing and approving the perfect will of God (Romans 12v2 ) making it our goal to please the Lord (2 Corinthians 5v9 ) as we live godly lives in this ungodly and depraved generation (Philippians 2v15).
Are you pushed into marriage by the size of his bank account ? Because he or she is too close to you? Is it because of fears that you may not have another he or she having waited for long? Is it because of worldly values? Vanity? Are you pushed into marriage by the pure pressure of mom and dad or loved ones? Are you longing for a man or a woman because you are one? Aspire to become one? Let the male and female be man and woman of God before marriage. For marriage is not for males and females.
May the Lord today increase the level of your sacrifice and love for Him as you aspire a closer intimacy with Him to be a real man and woman of God. And may this love be reflected in your marital life in JESUS' NAME . AMEN.
We love you in the Lord and pray for you all.
Bishop P.C. AKUBUEZE
Copyright © 2009 Epason. All right Reserved
